


Run Away With Me

by ChuckTaylorUpset



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: After Scarif AU, Bassian Week, Bassian Week Day 1, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-19
Updated: 2017-06-19
Packaged: 2018-11-15 23:37:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11241627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChuckTaylorUpset/pseuds/ChuckTaylorUpset
Summary: Scarif is not the end.  The Imperials are building a new Death Star and Bodhi and Cassian wonder about a life that they would never choose.





	Run Away With Me

When Bodhi finds out the Imperials have rebuilt the death star, he cries.  Cassian finds him in their bunk, sobbing like his world is ending all over again.  Cassian crawls to him and clutches him to his chest, wraps his arms around and holds him as they lie in their bed.  He listens to Bodhi’s sobs and mindlessly pets Bodhi’s hair and stares straight out into their sparse room.  

Before Bodhi, the room had been barren.  No personal mementos on the desks, no pictures on the walls, no clothes sloppily left out on the furniture.  All of Cassian’s belongings fells into two categories; the utilitarian kept at hand, stored to be used, and the personal, kept where they never, ever had to be seen.  It was a product of being Rebellion, of needing to switch bases, of knowing everything had to be replaceable because eventually it would have to be.  Sometimes Cassian wonders if any of his traits are ones that he has grown as a person, or if they are all what has been molded for what the Rebellion needs.  

Bodhi had changed that.  Now there are Bodhi’s clothes draped mindlessly over the desk chair.  There are the small pots of Jedhan cacti on the desk.  There is a shelf for the expressed purpose of the bizarre variety of trinkets Bodhi has acquired.

When Bodhi had first started cluttering his desk up with junk it had endeared Cassian.  The endearment, however, had frightened him.  He had blown up, demanded Bodhi throw away the junk, that he stop invading Cassian’s life, that he leave him _alone_ .  Bodhi had steeled himself, though he still looked to be on the verge of tears.  What he said Cassian would remember forever.   
  
“We--we kept things because we never knew what we needed.  We kept things because we never knew what we needed because we never knew when the Imps’ were-- were gonna storm in and break everything.  This is, this is where I’ve come from and this is who I am.  And if you don’t like it,” He said, his eyes like steel, “then I _will_ leave you alone!” With that Bodhi had stormed out of the room.

Cassian was not good at apologies, because to be good at apologies one had to give them to people other than commanding officers or marks he was trying to trick.  It was more accurate to say that Cassian was not good at anything involved in an interpersonal relationship.  Somehow, he still managed to acquire friends who were.  And it was with Chirrut’s advice that he found Bodhi found Cassian hopelessly trying to construct a shelf.  They had spent the evening building it together, figuring out how it all fit together.

In his arms Bodhi has quieted, having exhausted himself with his tears.  They do not speak, they do not even move.  They fall asleep together fully clothed on the covers on their bed.  Cassian did not think he would sleep deeply, had thought that after all of Bodhi’s crying the man would sleep longer, but when Cassian comes out of his doze he is alone.  It does not matter, he knows where Bodhi has gone.

He finds Bodhi where he was expected, on the rooftop of the base with his feet dangling off the edge.  Occasionally Cassian will wish that he himself could see the appeal of the rooftop, but mostly simply wishes Bodhi would pick a different spot to think.  Bodhi had said it made him feel free, made him feel like flying, reminded him of other rooftops where it felt like he was holding his city in his hands.  Cassian mostly sees being on the most exposed point if there’s an air attack on the base, sees having to run through a whole building before getting to a place where he can help.  Admittedly, the bases major line of defense is secrecy.  If it is discovered there is no chance they will survive the attack.  But Cassian has long learned that he will be on the frontlines for the rebellion when the situation is miles beyond hopeless.  He settles gingerly next to Bodhi on the ledge.  
  
“You don’t have to be here, you know” Bodhi says, with faint amusement.

“Why wouldn’t I be here”  Cassian replies.

“Of course” Bodhi says, and moves to where the side of the stairwell shed juts above the building.  Cassian settles so that Bodhi is between himself and cover, and so he can easily see the rooftop, then relaxes into Bodhi’s side and waits for Bodhi to break the silence.

“It was stupid of me” Bodhi says, “To think it was going to be over”

Cassian says nothing.  He hasn’t expected to see the end of this fight in ages.

“I thought we did something that day, something important.  I thought we did something final.  I thought that day was going to be enough.  But it all just kept going.  And now they rebuilt,” Bodhi heaves a great breath, “I was so, _so_ certain that what I was doing was right.  Even when I thought I was going to die, even when I so scared I couldn’t feel my fingers, I was certain that what I was doing was right”  
  
“It was right”

“But it didn’t change anything.  It didn’t save my people, and it didn’t save Alderaan and it didn’t stop them, But they’re never going to be stopped.  We’re never going to win and we’re going to be stuck in this war for forever and what we’re doing is just and good and right and I don’t know how much longer I can keep doing it and it’s not _fair_.”

“Don’t say that”

“But I’m such an idiot”  
  
“You are wonderful.  Bodhi, Bodhi listen to me.” Cassian whispers.  “If you asked me, if you wanted me to, I would leave this all behind.”

Bodhi gasps at the brush of Cassian’s breath against his ear.  The idea that this would even be a possibility was more than he ever expected. “Cassian, you don’t need to-”

“No, Bodhi, **** _Bodhi_ ,” Cassian says, and his voice is so soft, it sounds like he is holding back an ocean of tears and it sound like he is holding back a heartbreak. “I need you to know.  That I would do it.  For you, if you told me, if you asked, I would do it.”

“Cassian that’s enough.”

“I would do it, and I would do it in a heartbeat.  I would tell the imperials, and the rebellion, and the whole galaxy to go fuck themselves.  And I would run away with you.”

Bodhi closes his eyes.  Brings his face until it is an inch away from Cassian’s. “Tell me what we would do.”

“You’d fly us out of here.”  
     
“Yes,”  Bodhi says.

“We’d keep going.  We’d go to the end of the universe, where nobody else is”

“Yes,” Bodhi says.

“We’d never look back.  We’d just keep going”  
  
“We’d have to stop at some point,” Bodhi says with a small grin.

“Not if you don’t want to.  If you wanted, we could just keep going forever.”  
  
“No.  We’d want to stop sometime.”   
  
"Somewhere nobody knows.  A forgotten moon."  
  
"No Cassian," Bodhi says, dead serious, "I'm flying you away to a whole new planet"  
  
“With a house, and a garden for you?”  
  
“Yes.”   
     
“I don’t know how to be normal.” Cassian admits, and Bodhi’s heart aches, “But that’s okay, you could tell me how.”

“I don’t need you to be normal.  Do something else.  What are you going to do?”

“I,” Cassian says, “am going to spend each and every day of the rest of my life to make you the happiest man in the world.  And becoming the best man in the world so I can do it”

“You’re already the best”  
  
“Then nothing can stop us.”

They sit there on the rooftop and Bodhi does not ask.  They sit in the lap of the life they imagined and Bodhi does not ask.  Soon they will have to return to the fight.  And it is a good fight, and it is a just fight, and for the life of them neither could ever stand by and choose differently.  Perhaps in one life they do, and Bodhi hopes that in that life they are happy.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this is one day for BodhiCassian Week! Started running out of steam/time in the end so it might be a little rough. To clarify, the author does not advocate for running away from a genocide, but understands that for burnt out people it can still be a romantic gesture. Let me know if you like the story!


End file.
